Avoid excessive coordination. Excessive coordination results from using too many compound sentences—stringing independent clauses together with and’s, so’s, and so and and then’s. The problem with coordination is that it often cannot indicate the exact relationship between ideas nor can it indicate their relative importance. The problem is usually solved through subordination or division.
Change a compound sentence into a complex sentence by making one of the independent clauses into a dependent clause. Usually subordinate those ideas that indicate time, place, manner, cause purpose, result, condition, concession, or degree.
We were in Alsace-Lorraine, and we saw the Rhine River.
When we were in Alsace-Lorraine, we saw the Rhine River. (improved with adverb clause)
They wanted to save money, so they bought an economy car.
Because they wanted to save money, they bought an economy car. (improved with adverb clause)
Roger pulled a tendon, and so he could not finish the race.
Because Roger pulled a tendon, he could not finish the race. (improved with adverb clause)
Mr. Smith is the county commissioner, and he is our neighbor.
Mr. Smith, who is the county commissioner, is our neighbor. (improved with adjective clause)
► Note. Whenever it will not affect the clarity and effectiveness of a sentence, an independent clause should be reduced to a phrase instead of to a dependent clause. Some of the examples above could be further reduced.
Division. Divide some compound sentences into two or more separate sentences.
Avoid false coordination. Do not use a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or or) to join an adjective clause to an independent clause.
Mr. Kryler is a wealthy man, and who has always used his wealth to help others. (incorrect)
Mr. Kryler is a wealthy man, who has always used his wealth to help others. (correct)
